Camo is to Arkansas what Leopard is to NYC

Camouflage is to Arkansas what Leopard Fur is to NYC.
I like Arkansas but I'm sticking with the Leopard fur team.


I was at Target doing fabulous stuff like buying a mop when I spotted this at the girls' section near the check-out. Mop in hand, I tried this guy on. It fit so well- sleeves long enough, roomy pockets, snaps up to the neck and the price- the price is right at $39.99

I am typically a medium, but in girls, I'm happy to be an XL



This is probably the heaviest coat I'll need this winter down here in the souf.

Don't worry- that's not my bike. That's Matt's. I'm getting a fast and furious road bike very soon but I still have my standards for girly-style looks.

Spring Lady Biker Tips

It's springtime for real.

Let's have some Spring Lady Biker Tips! I’m slathering myself with a mix of SPF, self-tanner and body lotion before I get dressed in the mornings. I smell a little crazy, a little sweaty and a little self-tannery and a little SPF’y.  I smell like a Lady Biker. The self tanner is going to help me fight the pasty whiteness I rock so hard. See photo above.

To stay behind my sweat threshold, I’m forcing myself to bike at a slower pace. Since I get ready faster- less clothing and no need for winter accessories, I’m getting out of the house faster because I don’t have to gather up gloves, scarves, ear-cover, etc, so biking slower doesn’t impact my arrival time for work.

The baby wipes are back since I’m biking around with so much exposed skin. My lotion potion seems to help grit stick to me so I might need to wipe down my calves or if I get a little grease on me, I can baby wipe myself.

I down own perfume, but I love this fancy Febreeze-type Freshening Spray from The Laundress.
Got that tip from the adorable Erin Perkins. I also notice when I bike, my scarves smell like a tailpipe- totally disgusting, and I think it helps to spritz them with this stuff. It’s a little pricey for a bottle of fancy freshening spray, but I think it’s a miracle worker and like I said, I don’t own perfume and this bottle has lasted a very long time.

Skippy shoes/Skipipies. Flats, slip-ons, slaps, whatever you wish to call them, they are skippies. Slip ‘em on and skip around, get it? I think I’m done with socks until fall. I hate socks.  Someone asked me a hair question and one little tip is RIP your helmet off your head as soon as you arrive before you do anything else and fluff it a little with your fingers. Aerate! So it can start cooling while you lock-up or get in a freight elevator. Sometimes, I spray that fabric freshening spray in my hair if I’m paranoid that it smells like dirty girl hair.

Even though daytime is lasting longer, I always, always, always carry my lights with me. You never know when fun will strike and keep you out past dark so always be prepared.

On good bike clothing investments

This post is on good investments and a lesson on not-judging things from online stores called “Leather up” and from Lee, the mom-jeans superstore. Don't judge ugly, un-trendy online stores, K?

I’m super-duper glad that I bought this pink leather motorcycle jacket last July on clearance for $79. I (sit at work and read every fashion magazine and blog) had the foresight to know that dusty pale pink would be a trendy color and this jacket, being from a motorcycle super-store, was the bomb for bike riding. I got caught out in the rain so many times in this jacket that the snaps got a little rusty. And it has amazing pockets inside and out. Having motorcycle people compliment your jacket also makes you feel tough and strong. Good investment.

These jeans are yet another pair of my favorite new Lee brand mom jeans (I have navy, gray and black and that still costed less than jeans I typically buy.)  I am wearing these jeans in a 6, but I think I would be better in a 4 which means they are vanity sized, which is another wonderful element to their greatness. And they're $24.

Vans hemp palisades are slightly on the nautical-boat-shoe trend, but they’re also a comfortable skippie slip-on great for casual times and bicycle riding. And dog-walking. I do a lot of dog-walking. I actually saw an older woman in my neighborhood wearing the gray ones and they looked awesome and that’s why I bought my first pair, the turquoise ones, which are now beat to death. Black ones are fresh for this spring & summer. 

Last year's turquoise vans hemp palisades, back when they were fresh. 

Looks like my Linus was fresh back then too. Aw.

We can’t shut up about this mild winter, but one last word about this mild winter: I got to have my ankles sticking out this whole time. Some trend-related influence (mental illness from working in the garment dist) had me requiring a little bit of ankle-skin to show at all times and this mild winter helped me get through it without catching pneumonia.

My SPF Game is Tight

My dermatologist is an adorable little humming bird of a young woman and I really pissed her off. She was really mad at me, like, scolding me about the sun damage on my shoulders when she recently gave me a skin inspection. I know this is totally because I bike in tanks and tubes.   Tank top commutes have begun and I’ve got my sun-protection game together so she won’t be disappointed in me and I can save my lily white skin. 



Tips from my adorable and well-trained dermatologist: SPF 30 at all times and reapply every 2 hours.
And anything labeled with “Sport” and “water proof” is BS and the FDA is probably going to ban companies from labeling products with those terms in the future, so don't bother.

My selection process: I basically went on drugstore.com and filtered highest-rated & price and I’ve been using these two for about a week and I wanted to share because I think I picked two winners.

Inspect them for yourself here:

Philosophy Shelter SPF 30 for Face (I don't think the tint is noticeable.)
Lubriderm Advanced Therapy SPF 30 Note: I do like to smell a little like sunscreen and I sometimes play the alligator in the Lubriderm commercials my skin is so dry.

The new girl's new gear

The Viva bike had an obstacle from day one - no cargo capacity - no rack. Tying and looping my handbag & totes onto the handlebars was my immediate solution. Though dangerous. Don't try this at home, OK?


I hoofed around my work neighborhood and my home neighborhood only to be extremely disappointed that everyone only had black metal racks. There were a couple gray, painted metal racks but nothing to match the shiny chrome metal that's all over this bike.

One explanation I was given is that the shops stock black racks to cater to delivery boys.

I hated to order the things I wanted online, because you need to give your local bike shop business, so I got Ben at  Kickstand Bicycles to order them for me.

He ordered the rack I felt was best for this bike - the Wald Sports rear rack. About $20.
Cheap, simple, made in USA - Matches the viva's sexy chrome surfaces. 

Here we are on Tuesday morning's commute.


He also added the Wald 585 rear grocery basket. I'm not in love with the grocery basket but it's a temporary and cost-effective solution ($15) Note: The bungee is strung through the purse handle. 


I need some sweet new saddle bags for this bike.
I also may try to do this recipe to sew my own since my sewing machine is out lately.


I also ponied up about $4 for the most polite-sounding bicycle bell I've met - The Royal Ring Bell.

Also a lovely shiny metal with a stationery striker which helps when you're wearing gloves.

I got these new items Monday night and I was very happy to see the shop so busy. The weather was great but they also had busy foot traffic outside. They're not far from the UN.


It was also really cute to see that they play Pee Wee's Big Adventure on loop in their window.

They know what's up! 

Leslie Hall 4Ever

We went to see Leslie and the Ly's on Saturday night.



She's one of my favorite things/people. She's an amazing performer, her props and background videos are hilarious, and her merch table always woos me.

I got this t-shirt:


Leslie is now threatening P. Diddy's game and has created her own bands. The two opening acts are comprised of members of her band. Genius. Ramona and the Swimsuits and Pennyhawk.

Mona Bones, formerly a Leslie Hall backup dancer, has really stepped-up her game and was the lead singer of Ramona and the Swimsuits. We are throwing down the $5 to get that album, mostly for the song that's about Karen's dad taping COPS over her first grade talent show. It's a super-good song.


We were so happy the tiger heads came out.


Here's a geeked-out me with Mona at a show about two years ago:


I just love it so much that these girls rock the stage and rock the mic so hard and get people to go nuts for them. Just walking around, one would probably not assume that Ramona is a badass entertainer, but oh, she is.

I have better old pics here.

If you have small children and think you recognize Leslie, she has toured with Yo Gabba Gabba as herself.

The Mom Jeans of My Dreams

I used to sometimes sneak into JCPenney and grab some Levi's on the cheap. After the Ellen debacle, I decided to speak up for my love of the JCP. Wednesday night I was killing time and made the unexpected discovery that Lee Classic Fit Straight Leg Jeans are the jeans of my dreams.

They had tags from hell on them and I kind of thought "If these fit, it means I'm an old lady for real in the gross way" but they fit and my booty looks sexy-

So now I've gone online and ordered additional colors.

They fit like Judi Rosens! For 1/10th of the price.
Super high waist, straight leg. $24.

The website is full of NIGHTMARES so only look at one this little link. Don't click around!

Get your mom jeans and go.

ps- If you don't have a badonkadonk, disregard all of this. 

Clear Raincoat Friday

Friday night I got pretty rained-on coming home. My waterproof eyeliner (MAC Penultimate) stayed through, though riding with raindrops pinging my face was quiet miserable. Soaking wet shoes too!  I came home to a surprise package at my doorstep. Thanks, Wynn!


I made a messy crazy little video. My hair isn't wet but the rest of outside of my raincoat got drenched.
   
Wynn is my play-brother who lives in Nashville. Inside the box was a Gloria Steinem Fan Club Care Package.

The clear plastic rain jacket debuted on the commute Friday morning. I think I look like a flight attendant today with my neck scarf and navy jacket.

The errand-man at my office warned me that he was playing hookie, so I was dressed to run errands with flat shoes.

Sidenote: I am not cut-out for all this errand-running because I end up in stores like Claire’s Boutique buying cute belts. 

Slightly Awkward Bike Outfits

These pants look much better (they're high-waist flares) without the ankle straps pinning them around so they don't get caught in my bike chain.




Helmets don't always look the coolest, but who cares! Brain injuries aren't usually sexy either.


Ooh! I got The Laundress fabric fresh spray to fight my paranoia that I smell like a tail pipe.

Things I Rarely Do

Sunday I did two things I rarely do:
1. I made the conscious choice to wear an all black jacket for a bike ride.
2. I took myself to Brooklyn.


I got hot and had to un-zip my layers.

I usually like a colorful jacket to be extra visible. It was really sunny and I knew I would be home before dark so I did it. Risky behavior! I actually had bad luck in the way of cars being rude to me. Three instances of overt rudeness in a 14mile round-trip event. I was also twice honked at aggressively while I was in big, green, painted bike lanes, so just because the bike lanes are there now, does not mean cars respect you/me/us/anyone.

Why did I bring myself out to Brooklyn on a Sunday? To go to my friend's sale in his apartment. It's not exactly a sample sale and not exactly a yard sale, so I'll say apartment sale.

He makes hats and I'm thrilled to have purchased this straw one from him


This is me and him before I went into the witness protection program.

And here's the hat he made for SJP for the SATC2 movie. It was fun to catch-up with him, hear stories about the items he was selling, and he showed me this amazing film he's working on.

Some pics from my bike ride Sunday







So many people think I must live in Brooklyn, but I do not. I guess it's a compliment that people think I live there because it's the mecca for trendy cool girls, but I chill on the Upper East Side. Even on trains or cabs or cars I rarely go to Brooklyn. It just seems so far when you live uptown Manhattan. It's whiny to say that, but I admit that I bond with people who share this sentiment. 

Rippin' and Runnin'

I was rippin' and runnin' on Saturday. Couldn't be mad at this in the bicycle lane. 

Saturday before 7am. It's wonderful how empty the streets are at this time.

Saturday was full of busy goodness. I was all the way downtown to the Lower East Side before the sun rose. Tons of litter on the sidewalk and people getting out of their cabs saying "Goodnight" as I was getting my coffee to take to my volunteer shift at the Planned Parenthood. (I am an escort volunteer. I just help people get in the door with minimal distraction from the protesters.) If you're curious about my starbucks order, I had the new blonde roast with steamed soy and I carried it in my hand on my bicycle for at least 9 blocks. Thank goodness I was the only person on the street at this hour.

Sidenote: People are surprised that we have K-Mart in NYC. There are 2 and one is at the bottom of this building. See the little red K?

My shift wasn't too chilly for the first Saturday in February. The other volunteers are usually fantastic company. 

Our weekly standard protester got her sign stolen before 8am, but she's one of those who has a trunk full of gory posters. We don't mess with the protesters but we are delighted when people in the neighborhood support or thank us, and we were tickled that her sign got stolen literally right out from under her. 

Outside Bowery Diner. 

My shift was over before 9, but I had to my heart set on breakfast at the brand new Bowery Diner. I caught up on magazines until they were ready to serve me this feast. This was an awesome meal. 

Afterward, I had a little mission in China town/Canal Street.

I needed to kill more time until this art gallery opened at 11am. 

I got this super-cute brown & cream hearts umbrella. My husband leaves all our umbrellas at bars. It was a little dicey to ride it on my bike all that way, but it worked out fine.

After 11 I was able to see Sandro Kopp's paintings of his friends over Skype. He's Tilda's boyfriend. I realize we sat behind him that night we saw Tilda speaking about There's Something About Kevin at MoMa. There was video of Tilda holding a spaniel dog as part of the exhibit. I died. Red and white freckled dogs are my absolute favorite. 

Matt and I ran into each other when I was heading home and he was going to catch up on some work. 

I had this jacket on in the morning and I wore it again to the show later in the night. I get more compliments on this one... 

I needed a nap, but I also needed fat-hell super bowl groceries so I rode my bicycle up to target after I changed out my faux fur for a lighter jacket and lighter gloves. 

My bike got some fucked up crazy problem and this made me very mad and disappointed. Metal was screeching together and embarrassing me in public. Never OK. My brakes became very sensitive, and then I thought they were falling apart. At one point my back wheel couldn't even roll. I walked it to a shop and they cleaned out the rear-wheel hub and said it's just a cheap wheel. Again, I'm irritated at the amount of trouble I've had with this bicycle in 8 months of ownership. Thank goodness she's cute. 

I made it to target, got my supplies (Rotel is hard to find in my neighborhood, I was to nervous but harlem Target had all kinds, bless them) I was so hungry that I had to tear into the fritos before I got out of the parking lot. I felt like a car-having person eating fritos out of my bicycle basket. So Hungry. Did not care. 

I had a good laugh at the line for taxis outside of the target/costco shopping center. I threw my stuff in my panniers and probably got myself all the way home before the people at the end of this line got a taxi/car service.

I failed to take a nap and felt extra-tired and we had tickets to a show, and we waffled on whether or not to go. I was reminded that the initial reason I wanted to see the show in the first place was that Kathleen Hanna had done the set design so we got dressed at the last possible second and got a cab and rode down to The Kitchen for this show about Juggalos. I had been advised to watch the Juggalo documentary before we went. I'm glad we did. The show was nuts but the most fulfilling part was enjoying crazy shit-shows as a part of our life in NYC. 

We were desperately hungry so we got some juice and skittles to share in the cab home. 

You bet we passed right out.

If you need more photos of this busy day that had a lot of time-killing in the morning, feel free to check my flickr archive. 

I've got a guest post coming up on BikeMinded about NYC bicycle fashion, and I have another fun bicycle assignment coming up for Momentum. I also have an entry prepared for Lovely Bicycle's Bobbin bike give-away contest but I'm not entering til' the last minute. 

Tough Lady Clothes

My new year's resolution is varied, but one variation is that I want to be more like Gloria Steinem. 
To begin this literally- One needs to wear bras less-often and wear sensible shoes. I got these rather flat, kind-of ugly, extremely comfortable and rugged Dingo boots. 


I feel like I can ride bicycles and kick ass and be a cowgirl in these boots. 

My snaps are RUSTING because I've gotten rained on several times in this jacket.
This bomb-ass unbreakable pink motorcycle jacket...



I saw my first NYC Haiku sign tonight while locking my bicycle up outside of MoMA.
I did second guess if this was a DOT sign or something someone creative put up due to it's being right outside of the Museum of Modern Art. I think it's a real one.

I went to see Albert Nobbs. By myself, but in an audience of adorable little old ladies. It was really incredible. It's really heavy subject matter, but it's an incredible story and it's going to get crazy tons of awards. It's not for a first date. But it was great. A+