Bonus Monday - Fyxation Discount Code!

Big Monday means sneaker-time. Pixel Rose dress, Roxy Vest, Adidas Honey Pimsoles.

GREAT news if you want pink or green or brown or white tires too! I'm so happy! I've never had a Discount Code named in my honor! Use code JULES to save 15% off all the products in the Fyxation online store. Good thru June 2011.

I was intimidated about which size tires I needed. If you are too, email them!
If you're a smarty, you can find your tire size written, probably in raised letters on the side near the rim/wheel.

This morning on my ride through Central Park, I met Liz P. who is organizing the Short Skirt Celebration rides in NYC. We need to bring LadyBiker visibility to our fellow citizens. It was so nice to be chatting with a fellow LadyBiker first thing this morning. She flagged me down on my commute through the park this morning and took my daily outfit pic. Thanks, Liz!

After work, I rode up to the Upper West Side to attend this super-rad function. I was on the fence about Sarah Powell, but she stole my heart and officially became my homegirl tonight.

I've been stalking Amy Sedaris for a few years -She recognizes me at events and accuses me of breaking out of the group home. She was grrreat tonight, but John freaking Hodgeman stole the show! As did Sarah Powell! It was an all-around awesome time. It was like history lessons with curse words. I. Loved. It.


On my way home, I remembered that I had readthat Tory Burch is opening a new store uptown so we stopped to look, because the cover-up thing (to hide the construction) is graffiti'd by De La Vega.

It's a pretty sweet wall. I'm a huge sucker for Octopuses wearing lipstick!

Just wear a beret til' it grows all the way out.

The past week I haven't ridden my bicycle to work at all. I will probably ride tomorrow, Friday due to a "heatwave" in the 30's. Sadly, that's the first week in many, many months that I have ridden so little. I've been taking so many photos on my bicycle commute that today I took some randoms on my other commute. 

Hoofing it from the subway. Geez!

I don't have a set commute that I love. There are a lot of options and I'm not settled. 

I need to do a post about how I collected (with the help of some loving friends) all of the Hello Kitty - Sanrio 50th Anniversary watches. This is Choco Cat, he matches a lot of my outfits, and he helped me be on time today.

My face looks like a huge dork and my hair is in a really low/sad/suicidal place, but this is pretty much my outerwear look for today.

I did have a black sequined beret on. I should keep it on until my hair grows into something cuter. 

Last night - Wednesday - I wore this to see Amy Sedaris again. 

And we were really lucky the event was slow, and we got to take a pic.

So Special & Sweet!!!! She insinuated I live in a group home. And on the other hand, after I named off a ton of crap I've collected & bought from her over the years - she was glad I got that poster I got back in November. 

I have a big New Year's Resolution/Change in my life I'm eager to get into. Can't wait to tell, and see how it goes.

BUST Craftacular- What did I buy?

I'm happy to say that I can't show everything I got because some things are gifts for others- Others who may read this blog! Secrets!  

I'm also happy that a fair portion of the money I spent was on things for my cute husband. 


New do-rag with fancy gold buttons.

Yes, that's a nightgown. Ultra-vintage burn-out from being burned-the-hell out with oldness.
In Arkansas I've got my eye out for cute, large vintage sleep-shirts.



I overslept really bad and Emily "meditated" so deeply on the train she missed the stop, so we barely made the goodie-bag cut. It's kind of not even about the insides of the goodie bag, but the awesome Blue Q brand tote bag that they give you. I love and still very often carry the Blue Q shopping tote we got last year. Bonnie is checking my stuff out.


I was paralyzed and enchanted by the cuteness of this necklace.

It's my most favorite purchase for Cute at a Low Price.

Big Surprise! An adorable asian girl made this hat.

It was on Sale, still kind-of pricey, but it's built like a fucking tank. I am walking around in my life right now looking for hats that aren't beanies. I am also trying to grow out enough hair to peek out of these hats.

The 2 shirts on the right are for Matt. The bunnies are for me - I think I can wear them to work under a vest or sweater or sweatervest.

This booth let me down because there weren't any or many new styles from last year and their booth was little and their little kids selection was really weak. I didn't find the goldmine of t-shirts I was looking for this year.

There were repetitive: Tiny harmonica necklaces and jewelry with teeth and necklaces made out of old watch parts.

I also can't show any paper goods purchased, in case I might mail one to you someday. I've had a penpal for 25 years, you know.

Amy Sedaris Loot:

She and her helper agreed that I picked all the best stuff. Jesus pill case, lighters, bonnet, "Kick 'Em Donks" pencil.

I wear a shower cap several times a week in part with my minimalist hair-washing schedule and this bonnet will be cute in my rotation.

Wednesday Me and Emily will be seeing her for the 5th and final time of her Simple Times book tour. I'm a little sad it's over and I hope she doesn't think I'm trouble.

Simple Times Bonnet for Shut Ins.





I have the means to find out who made all of these items if anyone is in need of something specific. I could whisper it in  your email ear... 

The Craftiest Time of the Year

Saturday I went to the Martha Stewart Craft Sale at MSLO HQ and then I went to see Amy Sedaris again- this time at SpaceCraft in Brooklyn. Amy said she's seen me "Three times already" this week but this was only two. She's bad at math, or I have an imposter.

Sidenote:  I made a new friend and saved her from going to a dreaded basketball game in the ultra-dreaded Dirty Jerz with my husband, her boyfriend and other Duke alumni. New lovely friend is along for this whole crafty Saturday ride... She is a dermatologist and she blew my doors off by reminding me to use SPF on the backs of my hands! They're gonna show my age, so I need to put SPF on the hands. I often find myself hanging out with doctors but never the kind that tell me anything remotely useful. I love this girl!

OK- Now were at Martha's- I fall hard for Mixed-Media Christmas Trees. I like spice.
So cutest use of puff balls and screws on this tiny baby Christmas tree-

Those sharp, silver ornaments are freaking screws - I guess they are hotglued together. So cute! But sharp as shit. Moving on.

This flat tree is a great idea for New York City crazies just like me who live in teeny-tiny apartments and can't spare the space for a 3-D tree.


Martha Stewart's Head Quarter is really sleek and pretty and I've been there and written about it before but it's still fun special to go where she goes. To be in her space and try to sneak a peek at the work areas and her old modeling photos. Martha was a fashion/beauty model before she took over the world. It's true.

This is really bad to say, but my friend and I weren't tempted enough by the offerings to purchase anything, but we both stepped out of there with some fantastic ideas. There's a necklace that I can't wait to try to make myself. By myself. For myself.

Ooh! I also saw the make-up artist who did my make-up that time I was on Martha and I told my friend - because this was day 2 of her knowing me, "I'm about to possibly have a strange interaction with this woman" and then I went up to the make-up lady and geeked out! Like "You did my make-up when I was on Martha and it was one of the best experiences of my whole life. Not just being on Martha, I mean- just the make-up part was one of the best times of my life." And she did not remember me at all, and she was honest about that, but she was happy that I had such a good time and she wrote down her number in case I need her freelance services. Could happen.

And this is her from that day in 2007. I told her she explained her whole spread to me, and that I have a picture of it.


I realized it was getting close to time to get ourselves to Brooklyn to post up for the Amy Sedaris event at SpaceCraft. We took the train and showed up around 4:30 and they told us we couldn't come in til' 5. Dang! So we went across the street and ate kick-ass sandwiches at Papa Lima. OMG.



Emily joined us and we got in line but after sammich time, the line was a little scary because SpaceCraft is small, but we were behind a gang and a NY1 camera. Amy stood on a chair and did a quick demo.


During the Q & A - the questions from the audience weren't that great, in my opinion. It was more exciting when I asked her what she plans to sell at the BUST Craftacular Sunday and she busted me out for stalking her, listed what she's going to sell, then said I can only buy 1 thing. Liar!

Oh! She also said she wore a diff. dress because she knew I'd be there.

The Q & A wasn't going anywhere so she asked Paul Dinello a question about what he dressed up as for Halloween and he joined her in standing on a chair. He was beyond adorable/precious and that's the NY1 camera that's filming her for an upcoming special.


I have horrible photos because I want to be discrete and not be an asshole.

That NY1 Special better be an hour long, and they should have interviewed me.

My gang didn't buy books. Amy was signing at the other end of the big SpaceCraft craft table and they had a glitter-toothpick-marshmallow ornament crafting station set-up opposite Amy. We sat down and worked some magic.


We tricked Amy into posing with Emily. Har har!


The basketball slumber-party broke up and I had this hot new glitter marshmallow ornament from the Amy event so I was hot to put my my tree. My massive 3' tall tree with trashy but festive, fiber-optic tips.



I love these plastic flower light covers.


Oohs & Aaahhhhs!

Oooh She Recognized Me!!!

Me and Emily went to another Amy Sedaris  Simple Times book event tonight and I'm going to tell all that I can remember.

OK- this is a little bit bicycle related. I'm pretty pissed that I rolled-up at the Time Warner Center (it's like a mall) at Columbus Circle and the bicycle rack situation was completely insufficient.

This is such a fancy place! Look at all that room! They could have some kick-ass-cool bicycle racks. Grrr...

Thank goodness when I went up to a sign-post next to a police cruiser where a nice vintage blue men's schwinn was, the owner rushed up to unlock it to leave. We had a brief discussion about how lame the bike parking was then he left. It was swell. He wasn't cute or anything but I realized that if you're single and you want a smooth way to speak to the opposite sex- ride a bicycle. And talk about it with your fellow man.


The seating area at Borders was quite small and I know a small angry mob hated me for saving a spot for Emily. Only about a third as large as the seating at the Union Square B&N where we saw her in early Nov.  I'd also like to say that this uptown crowd was not nearly as cute as the downtown Union Square crowd. The whole uptown/downtown thing is true.

We didn't see Amy until after she got on their loudspeaker and made a funny announcement. She was wearing a navy blue dress cut in a similar style to other dresses - tank-top style with a large, circle skirt. The layers of ruffles on the skirt part were trimmed in flapper-dress fringe. Her hair was freshly blow-dried and a little wild looking in the back. She came in with a "tall" size hot beverage from Starbucks.

She seemed to have a strong southern accent tonight. It made me happy I've been using mine more lately. Driiiiiy, iiiiice, fiiiiire, tiiiiired. 

She pulled this adorable young main in plaid & overalls up to be the volunteer who does the banana candle demonstration. I'm pretty disappointed that Matt won't wear his overalls. Not even to the bar or to Home Depot. Lame!


She did a demonstration where she made a twist-tie out of gaffers tape & wire.
After the banana candle she opened the floor for questions.

Some people asked lame questions that I'm sure make her want to puke like "When will we see Jerry again?" And she gives them a taste, but you know... let's be fresh.

She said something about glitter crafts being the worst because they're so messy.

She made a FANTASTIC announcement that cracked me and Emily up- She announced that if anyone in the audience brought her a craft gift that the trash cans are located over here and that's where they're going after she breaks them down for parts she can use. Me and Emily busted-up because in the line at B&N to get our books signed, the girl in front of us busted out a fucking BRONZE SCULPTURE of a pair of legs. We were like OMG then and we laughed and laughed tonight after she said that and we knew exactly where those legs went.

She had to answer the question "Where did you get your shoes?" And she replied that they're from her favorite thrift shop, Cobblestones on 9th street and that she wears a size 5! Woah, tiny feet.

Speaking of tiny feet- her arms looked crazy-muscle-y tonight.

She used the scissors Martha Stewart gave her- Paper Scissors & Fabric Scissors. She used the scissors to cut wire and she referred to Martha as "he" "him" "...What would he think if he knew I was cutting wire with these..." 

When I was on Martha - at least one drawer had about 10 pairs of perfect scissors in a variety of sizes in it. Of course I'll never forget what I saw in those drawers but you know. I'll never forget that shit.

My FIRST question was something like "What criteria was she looking for in judging the Leonard Lupone craft competition" and she said something about "I already picked it- I picked it for the idea" Then she asked Why I asked and if I had entered and I said I did the Hobo Wreath and she said "Oh, no, it wasn't that, you'll see"

I think better than winning the glory of winning the craft competition was being recognized by her. Yes, absolutely.


And I don't remember if she recognized me on that question or my next question but she said (And I'm on the back row) "I've seen you before - you came to the thing at Barnes & Noble" indeed I did, but I've also seen her at Meredith college in Raleigh, NC, at least 2 Bust Craftaculars and surely another time. She's signed a bunch of junk for me - Some of it to give my PlayBrother.

Here's my face of happiness that she recognized me on my ride home.


My Play-Brother graduated from college and she signed a card for him at a Craftacular one time.

We didn't get books signed tonight. We just stayed for the talky part. That book is $30 damn dollars and me and Emily were both beat from work. Walking out, we realized we could have stolen the books and gotten them signed and gotten away with it. (Hardcore fans know that she defended her books price by saying "Poor people can steal it")

Me and Emily are going to see her THREE MORE TIMES this month.

My 2nd question was "Weren't you supposed to wear that one dress to all your stops on the book tour?" Then she was like "Who are you?!" Then "This is a whole thing and I'm going to explain it all since you said that" Then she explained that she's being filmed for a show on NY1- (which is a local NYC channel) and she said she is being filmed 3 times, so she felt like she needed to wear 3 diff. things and she broke down which dress she's wearing for each filming and she's wearing the white (book cover) dress on Saturday and we're going to that event, so we'll see her there and she'll probably recognize me and realize I'm a stalker and kick me out.

She said that NY1 really is her favorite channel.


Goodnight Time Warner Center and your crappy bicycle parking!

He's Here and He's Magical

I really want to win one of the cars Conan is giving away But I'd LOVE to win this too! It's the Cheap Craft Contest with Amy Sedaris and tomorrow/Nov. 30th at 5pm is the deadline for entry. Winner will be chosen Dec. 3rd by Amy herself, so THANK GOODNESS I don't have to harass people to vote for anything... Except Democrats! But that's not the issue at hand. This Hobo Wreath is the current contender.

Me and Emily dreamt him up and had a lot of fun plotting out how he would be built, but we are too easily distracted and I built in tonight in true last-minute fashion.



I'm pleased with my descriptive text: This is a Hobo Wreath depicting a Hobo made from stuff a Hobo could obtain: Cardboard, twine, garbage bag, scrap of cloth necktie, beer bottle, yarn hair, a sad frown and a bandana pouch on a stick.

No, I'm not leaving him on the front door. His beer bottle is too heavy. He is appropriately perched atop the craft cabinet next to my photo of me & Martha.


Matt knew this was happening, but went to bed when I started making this. He has a really magical friend to see when he wakes up! I can't wait!

Lady Danger

Wednesday night I went to a make-up class at MAC so Thursday morning I was fired-up and ready to do cute makeup! I'm featuring a new lipcolor here- MAC's Lady Danger. A BRIGHT Orange-Red that one of my favorite helpers picked out in a split-second.

I didn't try it on at the store. I have faith in my MAC at Henri Bendel counter people. I also do best with matte lipstick. I put this on at 8am and it could have lasted all night with minor touch-ups.


I've had this outfit picked out for a while. I saved it for 1. Cold weather - There's a cardigan on top of that blouse under the cape.

-And 2. A special occasion.




Emily and I went to see Amy Sedaris at Barnes & Noble at Union Square. We paid (gulp!) $30 for her new book. I got there over an hour early and the first seating area was quite full. Get there early if you're going to see her!

We hung in there for the signing line. She had these big prop-posters that she got from her set on The Early Show. She let us each have one. All we did was ask nicely if they were all accounted for. (Her rabbit-sitter claimed one.) We negotiated these lovelies!

I LOVE my stretching one! I think I found a spot in our apartment for it. Maybe.
Of course the personalized these posters for us. They're on foam-core. Rugged!

The first book she ever signed for me she wrote "Drinking Kills Feeling" Which is true, but tonight she spiced it up after some conversation about my hair. I told her she has complimented my hair in the past then she turned things into "You look like a little stewardess"



This outfit and new lipstick got me a zillion billion compliments throughout the course of the day. Young and old loved my look. The keds aren't really November appropriate so I need to work on a winter-substitution. I'm thinking Converse Chuck Taylors but I'm scared they're too masculine. But I might find some at the right price and try them out.

Amy had on the same style glasses that Rachel Maddow wears that Matt is going to get after we save up a lot of money to get them for him - Moscots. I've got to not buy anything so we can save up for these cute glasses! Wish me luck...

Happy Fall...Already!

2 of my favorite things in the world are happening this fall. Wait - THREE of my Favorite Things in the WORLD are happening, and December is already on fire!

Amy Sedaris's new book Simple Times is coming out this fall and her book tour has 3 New York City events.

[caption id="attachment_1230" align="alignnone" width="409" caption="Amy Sedaris - Simple Times - Crafts for Poor People"][/caption]

I am fully available and getting there super early for all of these New York City events.

Here's Amy signing the first thing I ever got her to sign. Now I've lost count. She said I had cute hair. I'm so in love with her.


Here's the whole tour schedule as of July 28th:

November 4: New York, NY. Barnes & Noble, Union Square, 7:00 pm
November 5: Philadelphia, PA. Philadelphia Free Library, Central Library, 7:30 pm
November 8: Washington, DC. Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 7:00 pm
November 9: Atlanta, GA. Margaret Mitchell House, 6:00 pm
November 10: Raleigh, NC. Quail Ridge Books, 7:30 pm
November 11: Durham, NC. Regulator Bookshop, 7:00 pm
November 12: Asheville, NC. Malaprop’s, time TBD
November 13: Chicago, IL. Borders, N. Michigan Ave., 2:00 pm
November 15: San Francisco, CA. City Arts & Lectures, Herbst Theatre, 8:00 pm
November 16: Santa Cruz, CA. Book Shop Santa Cruz, 7:00 pm
November 17: Menlo Park, CA. Kepler’s, 7:30 pm
November 21: Milwaukee, WI. Next Chapter Bookshop/Turner Hall Ballroom, time TBD
November 30: Boston, MA. Brookline Booksmith/Coolidge Corner Theater, 6:00 pm
December 2: New York, NY. Borders, Columbus Circle, 7:00 pm
December 12: New York, NY. BUST Holiday Craftacular, Metropolitan Pavilion

I already emailed my North Carolina homegirls and told them to mark their calendars. If I was still in the area, I would definitely be going to the Durham and Raleigh events.

Favorite thing #2 is The BUST Magazine Holiday Craftacular. I spend a reckless amount of money at this thing. My friend Emily is hard enough to go with me, because to be my date- you've got to be in line around 7am. I will not fail to get that goody bag! Go hard or don't even go! -is my motto. I bought my Amy Sedaris Granny Panties there. This Sarah Palin Pair... Family Heirlooms for sure!


Favorite thing #3 is Peaches. Peaches is bring her one-woman rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar: Peaches Christ Superstar to the U.S.A! She's Jesus, she's Mary, she's Everything! Tickets went on pre-sale for fan club/email subscribers on Thursday and yes, I had completed the transaction by lunchtime.

This is when I saw Peaches on her "Impeach my Bush" tour in Norfolk, VA.


Peaches Christ & The BUST Craftacular are all in one amazing weekend in December. I can't wait to rock this FALL!

I've been living "Summer of Cheap" but someone just told me summer is almost over. What?! I am going to need a theme for the fall and suspect it's going to be craft-related. But I also think I'm going to be out & about way too much to do any actual crafts myself.