Top 5 Wildest NYC Night for JPH

So my nightwas CRAZY!

I went to this women of experience reading - One of my PF co-workers did a reading. The lady from Cycle Sluts form Hell did a reading. It was a Fucking awesome event!

Then I walked Em. & S. to catch a cab. I went for
the 1st & 1st bus stop. I had the best intentions of getting on the uptown bus and going home.

Then I peeked into the window of Lucky Cheng's. I saw Tobell and I saw that
it was really slow so I went in. This is MIDNIGHT on SUNDAY. Tobell started screaming! JPH JPH
JPH!!! I screamed back "TVC!!! TVC!!! TVC!!!"

Astro Earle, who has a tattooed face and fully injected puffy lips was at the Bar MAKING OUT wiht a fat hasidic jew. Curls,
hat, crazy scarf. They introduced me immediately. The Hasid was very
apologetic about what a terrible person he is. Lucky Cheng's is really gay and a famous Drag Queen bar. Guys who are there are Freaks by Default. But he was really drunk
and passsive and I drink for Free when I'm with Tobell so I just
ordered my drink and caught up with Tobell. LIke, I told Tobell that Gwen Stefani sewed my new purse. She did! Yeah, Right!

Back to the Hasidic Jew at the Gay Bar: Earle was like "he's so adorable! I love him!" Tobell wasn't so impressed.

The Hasid's name was Martin and he went on to tell me that he's a
"flaming faggot". He once had a wife and told her that he supports the
gays and "She-Male Rights" and if she can't stand to be with a beast like him, he would give
her $20k to go away and be divorced, and that's how he got rid of his wife and now gets
to hang out and be gay all night. In his HASIDIC OUTFIT with curls and yarmelke!

So Earl left and Tobell insisted that we go to Greenhouse/Vandam which
is Kenny Kenny & Ladyfag's party. Maybe it's 1am now.

ME, Tobell and MARTIN the HASID took a cab to Vandam. Vandam is REALLY GAY. Full of the gays that people think of when they imagine gays who do the dirtiest gay things ever.

Kenny Kenny & Ladyfag were happy to see us and gave me and Tobell drink
tickets. We go the WORST DRINKS EVER. Like a glass of straight vodka.

Tobell started telling me how lonely she is. How she's a party girl,
but she's been doing drag for 20 years and she's so alone.

SHE TOLD ME THIS HOT LINE ABOUT HOW WHEN SHE WAKES UP ON SUNDAY AND
WANTS TO GO TO H&M SHE HAS TO GO ALONE.

SO SAD!

I told her the faggots at Vandam were not "the future." She liked that. REMEMBER - Tobel is a 40-ish Black MAN. Female on the inside, black man on the outside.

Back to Tobell's love problems: I can tell everyone how to pick boys because I picked the BEST ONE but
no one wants to listen to me. Anyway-

We shook Martin the Hasid by then. Tobell and I decided to leave. We
were walking from McDonald's to McDonald's wanting some Fries. But it was very late.

Tobell would either get into a tiff with the workers or the McDonald's
would be closed so we never got fries.
Tobell peed in a phone booth. So hobo.

We walked from the party which was practically at the Holland Tunnel
all the way to 14th. Far! Luckily, I had on comfy slippers.

Most of the time... there was this student walking by us. A guy. He
looked totally safe and Tobell is LOUD & Crazy and is a middle-aged
black MAN so I was not concerned.

When we were going into the subway at Union square the dude told me he
had to do a dare and kiss a stranger's feet and he
would give me $60.

Immediately I KNEW he was a freak after he said this. But I had a
middle-aged Tobell and there were all these people around, so I was like "GIVE
ME THE $60!" and he DID and then he kissed the bottom of my stinky
foot!

Then I was like "Tobell, we need to get away from him" and we did and
then I told Tobell that he gave me $60. It happened REALLY FAST and
Tobell was REALLY DRUNK but after I told Tobell she was like "FUck the
Subway - We're taking a cab!!!"

So we shared a cab. Tobell told me how happy she was that I got away
from PF and that she wants to go to Wicked Willies with me and Matt.